Clothes Shopping, or often just the word 'Shopping' is often enough to cheer a girl up and set a sparkle in their eye. There's nothing more relaxing than an afternoon of retail therapy ... NOT!
I was recently forced to venture out into the world of clothes shopping for some new jeans. I've only ever had two or three pairs of jeans at any one time and it just so happens that they both came in hole at the exact same time. So its either clothes shopping or having my foot come out of the hole at my knee every time I take a step (I think I may have exaggerated there just a little, but you get my point).
Anyway, I can honestly say that shopping for clothes that you actually need is way too stressful.
Just A Pair of Jeans
Going out to buy a pair of jeans sounds like a walk, or even an unassisted float in the park, but it isn't. All I was looking for was a pair of ordinary jeans, but the labels on jeans nowadays come in a variety of exciting colours and catagories and usually say something along the lines of ;-
Extra Skinny, Bootcut, Low-rise, Tight-Pocketed, Regular jeans. Great for partying, dancing clubbing, having fun with friends.
And thats just one label! What happened to 'A comfy pair of jeans with plenty of room?' In light of these ever so confusing and un-necessary labels I thought I would have a go at simplifying them. Here's what I came up with ;-
Extra-likely to be so tight that the circulation to your feet will become non-existent and you become paralysed from the waist down, but don't worry, your arse won't look big in them. Cut to go over your boots even though everyone conforms now and wears their boots over their jeans. Low enough to show any kind of underwear, so think twice before going commando. Pockets are tight enough to call people while you walk and send gibberish texts, then they will eat your hands when you try and retrieve your phone. Thoroughly irregular jeans. Great for keeping your legs straight and penguin impressions.
Or something like that.
The Fashion
I am far from fashion conscious, and am rather glad about that. In my opinion, as long as I'm comfy I really don't give a crap. Also I like to make my clothes work for their money, so I keep them until they have holes, have permanent stains or are simply too small. I can't be dealing with people who have to change their entire wardrobe every three months or so because they can't be caught dead in anything but the latest fashions. Pointless, money wasting way of going about things. I usually cringe when I walk into most clothes shops, seriously does anyone else think that most sleeves on tops these days look like the seamstress screwed up on the sewing machine? While most people see a menagerie of wonderful clothes, I see ;-
Clothes so creased that they put crinkle-cut chips to absolute shame, jeans so tight that Deep Vein Thrombosis will soon become 'the price of looking good', belts as thick as pillows with buckles the size of circular bin lids, or at least a decent vinyl record. Skirts that can actually pass of as belts if you wear them high enough, costume jewellry including rings as big as your face and looping ear-rings big enough for dolphins to jump through, and I don't think I even need to rant about Jeggings.
My point here is what happened to just being comfy? I'm sure people do find skinny jeans comfy, but I just don't see it myself.
All I wanted was a pair of jeans :)
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