No, I’m not referring to the Hulk. I am in fact referring to Jealousy. In most cases, there is at least one jealous person in any relationship and maybe, worst case scenario both parties are jealous. But why? What’s the point?
Both men and women are as bad as each other for this. I’ve seen women look in disgust and hurt as their boyfriends take a passing glance at a random, but beautiful woman. Or men’s faces drop as their girlfriends exchange a smile with a fit stranger and you just know that there will be an atmosphere or an argument for the rest of the day between them. But it is really worth it? If you’re having a fantastic day, can a chance glance or smile to a stranger actually spoil it? For anyone who thinks it can, you have my sympathy.
Now I have nothing against jealous people themselves, but I simply don’t understand them. I myself don’t tend to feel jealous, not because I don’t care, which is how some jealous people validate their own ridiculousness, ‘I’m only arguing about it because I care’ which of course is a load of crap. I think perhaps that some men see it as a heroic thing. The whole,’ if anyone makes a pass at you I’ll deck’em ‘ approach if you will. It must be a macho thing, though I’m sure some guys think they are simply being ‘protective.’ As for women, well any excuse to shout at their man or create a bit of drama, maybe a cat fight to lighten the evening. As I have witnessed a fair few trussed up plastics ragging on their boyfriends for noticing another woman’s boobs (Well, duh. You ain’t the only woman with a pair and I sometimes even have trouble keeping my eyes to myself if it’s a particularly good pair :P ).
Those were more examples of petty and pathetic jealousy than anything else, but it can also come from people with low self esteem who think that at any given minute their partners will leave because they themselves simply aren’t good enough. It can also come from guilt. If one has cheated then they will turn the tables on the other to protect themselves. But cheating after earning someone’s trust is simply unacceptable, and its people who cheat that cause most people insecurities in all future relationships.
The only jealousy I really understand is the former. If someone thinks that they are not good enough, that they are ugly or useless then they will be insecure. However, I wouldn’t class this as jealousy. I would class it as simply insecurity, something that often comes with low self esteem. So what about the rest?
Obsessive jealousy is usually a product of paranoia and often can’t be controlled as it is part of a condition. But what really ticks me off are people who are ‘petty’ jealous people.
Like women who are immediately suspicious of their boyfriends female friends, especially if they are really good friends. This kind of jealousy has affected me a fair bit, because most of my friends are male, therefore a good portion of my male friends’ girlfriends are immediately suspicious of me. I, of course find this to be ridiculous and somewhat pathetic. One of my friends actually, has been told that he’s not allowed to see me, ever, and he’s not even with the girl yet! If they do get together it will be a laugh and I do of course still see him. This girl seems to think that because I’m a female and therefore in possession of a Vagina that I am clearly sleeping with him ... why didn’t I see it before! In my opinion your partner should never be able to tell you that you can’t see your friends. But I think I might be alone on that one.
Speaking of friends, I know of lads whose girlfriends’ text them constantly while they are out with their friends. If they don’t text back, they get a phone call – ‘Why didn’t you text me back?’ – Because he’s OUT you Bag-head! He’s out with friends trying to have a good time, but is spending his night out glued to his phone like an anti-social fool because you miss him or need him to pay attention to you all the effing time. Get some independence. If you’re boyfriend or girlfriend is out with his/her friends, leave them alone; let them have a good time! Simply ask for one text when they get in to let you know they are ok. That’s all it takes. If you mither them constantly you will push them away, especially with guys. They need space and ‘man time’ with their friends, not a clingy woman who needs updates as though the relationship were a bloody Twitter feed! Geez!
Anyway, the other pointless kind of jealousy is the ‘did you just look at her?’ or ‘Did you just look at my girlfriend?’. The first is classic female. Women can be so quick to notice if a man looks at someone else’s boobs or bum, or even their face. The only way to stamp out this treacherous behaviour is to insist that your man walk in one of three ways; One – looking at the pavement at all times. Two- focus solely on you while you walk and therefore probably end up on the floor or walking into a post of some kind. And Three – Get them to walk with their face in your cleavage so they can’t look at any one else’s. Oh, wait there is one more option ... Grow up! People look at people all the time, eyes meet smiles are exchanged etc.
As for the classic petty male statement of ‘did you just look at my girlfriend?’, followed either by a squaring-up of a total stranger or a fight, maybe you should answer a few questions? Is your girlfriend pretty? Do you seriously think that you are the only one in the world who has noticed that she is, in fact, gorgeous? Do you seriously think that she will stay with you if you keep being such a blundering . macho prat? If the answers are Yes, Yes, No. Then just chill and enjoy the fact that she has chosen you and no-one else.
And that’s what it comes down to. Trust. If you know that she chose you and you chose her and that you’re both agreed to be in a relationship, then that’s that. There will always be attractive men or women around for each of you to notice. Men will always look at boobs, and women will always look at men’s packages. We are just more subtle about it. Sometimes I don’t even have to look at some of my lads to know that they are burning holes in some girls clothing with their lusty stares, you can feel the intensity.
Look but don’t touch is the rule. If you say you trust your partner then prove it. No needless arguments and accusations, no being suspicious of opposite-sex-friends and no clingy texting or calling. Just be together and enjoy each other :D.
